Before coming to Crossroads, I suffered from a crystal meth addiction and lost all hope in life. Due to my addiction I made bad decisions and I did things I’d never imagined I would do. I grew up in a loving home, and had the best childhood I could ever dream of. However when I was introduced to drugs I compromised all of my morals. After learning the street mentality my heart grew colder and my temper grew hotter. I was locked up numerous times. This last time I spent almost a year in jail, during which I had a lot of time to think.
My family finally became sick of my actions and decided to turn their backs on me. I was all alone with no one to turn to and felt completely hopeless. During the nights I couldn’t sleep. The guilt and shame would keep me up. During the days it was loud. I wasn’t able to show much emotion because in that environment it shows weakness, and I didn’t want to be walked all over. I have been on probation since I was 18 and haven’t successfully completed it yet. I was court ordered to do a program again since I had never finished one before. I was fine with it this time because after reaching bottom I felt I couldn’t possibly go any lower. A program was the only way out that was up.
After my release I came to Crossroads to apply and was on the waiting list for two months. My bags were fully packed since the day I applied. On May 24, 2010 I received the call to come in. That day my life started to look up. I was welcomed into this home with open arms from people suffering from the disease of addiction and I truly felt a part of it. I have gained spirituality and learned to let go and let God. I have learned to be more accepting of things and people. I have the willingness to go to any lengths, and the strength to carry on. I have regained a sense of hope and I have faith that things can only get better from here on out.
My family is back in my life. I am able to sleep peacefully at night. I have made good friends and I smile and laugh a lot more. Even though I was nudged by a judge I went into this program like it was my last chance at life and I’d better soak up everything like a dry sponge. Today I have 14 months of being clean. I feel good about myself and what I’m doing. It truly pays off when my family tells me they are proud of me and my parole officer says I am going to be his success story. I am so grateful for Crossroads, the staff that would do anything for me, my sisters in sobriety who support me, and my Higher Power who guides me.
